| Location | Zephyrhills, Usa |
| Age | 7 years |
| Cause of Death | Road Traffic Collision |
| Date of Birth | 16/04/2001 |
| Date of Death | 26/12/2008 |
| Visitors | 2,286 since 05/05/2009 |
| Creator |
Thank you to all our friends and loved ones for lighting candles, leaving tributes and photos for
Rohan. A wise person once said that as long as a person lives on in our hearts and in our memories,
they will never die... I am praying for that day when the darkness of grief gives way to the light
and beauty of memories made in much happier times.
My baby, Rohan, was full of life, and full of love. His brief life was lived to the fullest,
thoroughly enjoying all that came his way…except maybe for chores and homework. He loved his
birds Sushi and Rex, and wanted more than anything to have a cat, a dog, a turtle and any and all
butterflies that were unlucky enough to get caught in his net. His real passion, however, was
dinosaurs. I made dinosaur- shaped pancakes, and bought a cake tin shaped like his favorite T-Rex.
If I sent him to read a book, guaranteed it would be about some dinosaur or the other. His spelling
tests had to be done on his dino-printed paper, and nothing made him happier than the day he got his
dinosaur comforter and pillows. He wanted to be a paleontologist even before he knew what that
was…as long as it was dino-related, that was good enough for him.
Rohan was born on April 16th, 2001 in Colts Neck, NJ. I named him Rohan for my little brother who
was born on that same day, but had passed away at several months old. Jim, Rohan’s natural father
who himself passed away six years ago, would often say that when life riled him up, Rohan would calm
him down. He was a source of comfort and affection to me all these years. He would play with my
hair, stroke my cheek, and then in his silly voice, tell me something completely outrageous. I once
asked him why he was always so silly, and his response was that he just wanted everybody to be
happy.
He was a dreamer who would come up with all these characters like Huggy-Boy and
Kissy-Boy…unfortunately for Bree,his older sister, she was the usual target for his displays of
affection. So often he would chase her around the house trying to give her a kiss, until she would
run to me or hide in her room. Tony, his step-dad, would often be surprised to find instead of a
full glass of water on the counter, it would be an empty, lip-smudged one instead. I miss my
waterboy. He didn’t care for soda at all, but would light up when I made him triple chocolate
shake. Wonder who he got his love for chocolate from?
I remember our trip to Busch Gardens a year ago, when we visited the flamingoes. Rohan was so
excited! He stood there watching them, until his uncharacteristic patience was rewarded. Mango,
the flamingo, came over and started digging for bugs in Rohan’s curls. It was probably the
highlight of that year. He was so thrilled; he didn’t stop talking about it for weeks.
December 26th, we had gone cycling as a family. After riding along the bike trail for a
couple miles, we headed back. Bree, Rohan and I were riding in front, with Tony and my aunt Michelle
walking behind. We got back to the barrier where a pedestrian crossing connects the trail to the
parking lot where we had left our van. While waiting for traffic to clear, I adjusted his helmet
and told him "boy, this helmet won't help you one bit if you fall off..." He had it on the back of
his head. I also made him switch back bikes with Bree, cause he had been riding hers with legs off
to the side, huge grin across his face...but would get a bit wobbly every now and then. Finally, I
said to them, "when I say "go, you go!" After the last car had passed, I gave the signal and we
started across. We were just about to cross the third lane when I saw the truck coming in our lane.
I slowed down as I got back unto the trail, and Bree rode past me. I looked back to see Rohan just
about to enter that third lane. I jumped off and yelled "STOP! DON'T MOVE!", but the very next thing
I heard was a THUMP, and his bike and crocs went flying. The truck passed and there was no Rohan.
Finally, the truck stopped and there he was behind the back wheel, crumpled and broken. I ran over
to him, took his helmet off and just held him in my lap, telling him how much I loved him. My
curly-haired boy with the big smile was no more.
What can a heartbroken Mom say? My world was turned upside down and life will never be the same.
My baby boy is gone, but God is still faithful and good. God allowed me to have him for but a short
while, but it was long enough to accomplish His purpose. He taught me about loving people, even the
seeming unlovely. He has yet to meet a stranger, and everyone was his friend. He taught me about
forgiveness, and about the futility of holding a grudge. And boy, his hundred and one questions
taught me patience!! I would give anything for just one more question right now. Reminds me of
that line, “we cannot Lord Thy purpose see, but all is well that is done by Thee.”
Like Job, I say, “The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away; Blessed be the name of the LORD.” I
never failed to realize that he was a gift from the Lord, here for but a while. The Lord in His
graciousness allowed me to home school, and gave me additional opportunities to teach this precious
one of mine all about his loving Savior. I think Jesus’ ears will be ringing for a while yet,
although I’m sure if He points Rohan to “dino-heaven,” there won’t be a peep out of him. We
miss you, beloved one, but we know you are home, and as happy as could be. We thank God for all the
moments you shared with us, and we are grateful for the seven and a half years in which you touched
our lives and left your mark. So now, may the Lord bless you and keep you, and cause His face to
shine upon you, and be gracious unto you. May the Lord lift up His countenance upon you and give
you, and us, His peace. Sleep well, my baby boy, Mama loves you.
Remembrance
You can shed tears that he is gone,
or you can smile because he has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that he’ll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all he has left.
Your heart can be empty because you can’t see him,
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow
and live yesterday,
or you can be happy for tomorrow
because of yesterday.
You can remember him
and only that he’s gone,
or you can cherish his memory
And let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind,
be empty and turn your back,
or you can do what he’d want:
Smile, Open Your Eyes,
Love and Go On.
Author unknown
Hi Shelley, This poem was sent to me and I felt like it was looking into my soul. Even though it is dark it gives me comfort as it is exactly how I feel. I hope it gives you some comfort on the loss of your beautiful Rohan xx
♥ A Shade of Sadness. ♥
In comes the darkness to my soul
even as I sit in the early morning sun,
the distant sounds of the living
seem far removed from the fogginess of my mind.
♥
In the stillness of the house
which seems quieter than quiet,
time seems to pass too slowly.
♥
A feeling of being outside myself
looking back into an empty shell
of the person I used to be.
♥
I cry for my former self.
That person I once liked and enjoyed.
She is gone.
A loss within a loss, within a loss.
♥
A heaviness in my heart,
the weight of a million tears.
Drowning my emotions,
mixing and swirling in a pool of despair.
Ugly hateful despair.
♥
A sadness so deep and heavy
leaving the body tired and used,
I feel I could sleep,
sleep for a thousand years and never wake up.
♥
A thousand years will not change a thing.
You would still not be here.
What to believe, I don't know.
I just don't know. My soul is lost.
♥
I know not which way to turn.
Where to look,
♥
I feel helpless,
helpless to help my self,
annoyed with the daily things of life I must do.
♥
I don't care, not anymore.
The world could fall upon it's knees
it would not matter,
I am too shrouded in the darkness of my world
that spins ever out of control,
directing my emotions
with no warning as to what feelings
will be brought upon me next.
♥
There is guilt, another weight to bear.
Those who are with me, who I love and love me,
they need me, but I am not ready.
I hold them back at arms length,
I am not ready,
their demands draw on what strength I have left.
For that I am sorry,
but I cannot help bringing on the emotional distance.
There is a need to protect myself,
but from what I am not sure.
♥
There is anger.
Anger that occasionally swells within me.
There is no direction into which to fling this anger.
It is a new and different type of anger
not one I am familiar with and it disturbs me.
It makes me afraid.
♥
I try to be strong. For you, and only you.
I try to think what you would have me do.
♥
I know you would want me to live my life.
To continue on. It is not an easy task, not at all.
♥
Some days I can go out
and meet the world with vigor and say I do this for you.
♥
Some days I must crawl into my shell
and hide from the world that has been so cruel to me.
I am trying.
♥
The days are filled with thoughts of you,
and should I find myself not thinking of you,
I gasp for fear that I am forgetting you.
♥
I have learned to value life, you have taught me this.
To see the beauty in each day given to me,
even through this veil of sad darkness.
I know it is there waiting for me.
♥
Someday the sadness will lift
and I will only think of you
with a smile and warmness in my heart.
My love for you will always be there
that shall never pass
and I hope somehow you know this too.
♥
Your memory is only a heartbeat away.
I shall always love,
I shall always long for you,
I shall always wish to have you back.
And I shall live -- if only for you.
7 months today!
To think it has been seven months without your smile.
Seven months without your hug or an "I love you..."
Seven months without seeing my love for you reflected in your beautiful eyes.
Seven months of holding nothing but your memories...
Seven months of tears, and a heartache so deep and unending...
Seven months of wishes...
Seven months of learning to live with a new normal...
Seven months of realizing that though you are gone physically, you are forever embedded in the very fabric of my soul...
Seven months of being thankful for the gift of you, your presence in my life, your love...
Seven months of trying not to celebrate your day of death, but rejoicing in the days you were alive.
Seven months of being thankful that you are now in the presence of the King, safe and secure from all harm and unhappiness...
Seven months...and however longer to go...
I miss you!
26TH JULY 2009
♥****♥****♥****♥****♥****♥
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NIGHT NIGHT SWEETHEART, SWEET DREAMS. X
This ache will not go away! I want you back...I don't want memories, trinkets and keepsakes. I want you. God, how this hurts. Sometimes I wonder how a body can hold this much pain inside, and still continue to live... Yet I can't give up. I must continue on this path, knowing that one day we'll be reunited for ever. I miss you so much, Roro. So very much.
Mama
I am tempted to again look at the pictures of your funeral- yet I am fearful. I need the reminder that you are gone, yet it's the last thing I want. My son, my beautiful boy...gone. My heart aches for you, and my arms are empty. Would it have been better had you never been? But then what joy and pleasure I and so many others would have missed out on! I love you my darling child. My precious boy...
I love you with all my heart and soul...and always, always will!
Mama
Winds of Peace
Rohan your light on this earth no longer shines for the eyes of men to see, but deep in our hearts the after glow is brighter than it has ever been.Your going away so soon that hurts and linger on deep inside our mind, must remind us all of what to expect when the life we live is no longer ours to keep.When the dreams we persue and attained is no longer ours to grasp and the earthly utopia we strest our selves to get only become a wall prison that we often try to runaway from. Today i can feel the winds of peace blowing all around me, a peace that past all understanding. A new reality replacing an old mind set, to live again and reign with Christ one must first die and shed this body of shame, hatred, lies , selfishness, greed and lover of thine own self in order to be change and crafted once again into God's hand made.So it was in our conception so shall it be in our death. Rohan your untimely departure has brought sudden and profound changes to my life, one might say a fresh wind of peace has come over me, that has replace fear and trepidations that had engulf me for such a long, long time. Rest just a little longer my son, When the names are call up yonder I will be there to see your face once again, oh what a Joy it will be when we meet to sing and shout glory to his name, finaly free from our bitter lost, sadness, heart-ache and pain, free, free at last,free at last,shouting glory to his name, free at last, free at last on the other side. (Norman W.Baker Sr. ( Father & Grandfather.)
Loving memories we will never forget,
Sadly missed along life's way,
With silent thought and deep regret,
We think of you every day,
No longer in our life to share,
But in our hearts he's always there
Reflections
Today Sunday July 5th as I got up at 5.am, laying down reflecting on the things and events i have seen along the road of life, i sigh over and over at how often our lives are disrupted and challenged. Some times with notice other times without any, yet we often times pick our selves up and move forward with the grace of God. The lost of Rohan trigers the reality that we all face and that is, we are not in control of any thing,we might dislike some one, hate others, wish them bad or wish them good, but when its all said and done we are nothing, nothing at all. Naked we came into this world, naked we shall return. We are all on borrowed time, here for a season to full fill the one reason we were put on this land in the first place and that is to worship God and God alone everything else is only an off shoot. But as human we weep and weep at our physical loss, not because we are weak, but because we love and care about those whom we brought into this world and those we have taken into our lives as love ones. After my prostate cancer was treated and i was told i am ok, I went home and pray these words," Lord if its thy will that I be made whole, lord I am gratefull and i will, for every day you extend my life to make it my duty to worship you and praise your name". On July 3rd,'09 couple days ago after a schedule hospital vist for colon oscopy they found a pallop on my large intestine with early stage of Cancer. I only mentioned this to indicate how the events of the last two years has prepared me for acceptance of what this life has to offer, This time it took me only thirty seconds to weigh my options and I began to smile,Dr. Versland look at me with puzzled eyes and then said to me, "did you understand what i just told you".I just laugh and told him these and every other events are no longer in my hands the will of God trumps everything so do what is necessary to make this go away. For over two years now and most recently when Rohan died when the pain subside i became very calm and that was when I knew i had found peace with God. I may live to be a hundred, I may live just another day, but one thing for sure, I am in a better place in my mind. I no longer hate or harbour fear.I no longer expect a simple call, a card on my birthday or best wishes on Christmas or hurt when I am treated as on after thought. And most of all, I have forgiven Suseth, one of the hardest thing i ever had to do in my life. I have everything that I will ever need in this life, The spirit of God is working in my life,every day I can feel him on the outer layer of my heart. Some day soon Rohan some day soon when the mist is cleared and the dead in Christ shall rise I too will meet you there in the great bye and bye, when all our sins are forgiven and all our debts will be paid, free from all the shackles of this life.Some day soon Rohan, some day soon, those that have been redeem and wash in the blood of Jesus Christ,shall rise again in the newness of life.Untill then, Shelly may your tears turn to joy, may your heart burn become a source of strength to others that weep and mourn when their heart melt inside of them from the pain of their loss. Norman W. Baker Sr (Father & Grandfather.)
For it is in Christ that we have been set free...may our sweet memories of you free us from the chokehold of mourning and our faith in Christ give us the strength and the courage to once again live life with hope, with joy- knowing that it truly won't be long before we'll be reunited once more in the presence of our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ.
We didn't get to see any fireworks, but you get to live in the glory of our Lord...you are beloved my child, and dearly missed.
Loving you wih all my heart,
Mama
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